Consequences
by Solar Princess
Summary: It was right in front of her, but Willow had to learn the hard way that everything has consequences...Please R&R!:-)
1. The easy way out

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Buffy, and some of the lines in the story are taken from Tabula Rasa.

A/N: This is part 1 of 3. Summary: Another version of events in the episode Tabula Rasa. It was right in front of her, but Willow had to learn the hard way that everything has consequences.

Willow had just the spell. It was perfect, and would help everyone for sure.

She had promised Tara she wouldn't't do anymore spells, at least not for the week. "Dawn told me," She said, a tear dripping down her cheek. "She told me about us fighting. You left that flower under my pillow. 'Lethe's Bramble:'" She quoted, holding her head in her hands. "'for augmenting spells of forgetting and mind control'. You put a spell on me. How could you? What were you thinking?"

"I-I just wanted us to get along, like we used to. I didn't't mean for anything bad to happen." Willow replied, her voice shaking. Tara wasn't supposed to know she put a spell on her. No-one was.

"That's just it," Tara looked up from her hands. "you didn't want anything bad to happen because you didn't want to get into trouble. You just don't realise that it's already happened. Putting that spell on me was bad and wrong. But it's too late to fix it now, you're already in trouble."

"But I made you happy." Willow mumbled quietly.

"No, you made me think I was happy. And that the key word here: made. You can't just make people do things, especially not with magic."

"I didn't _make_ you do anything," Willow cried. 

"You _made_ me forget our fight. You _made _me forget about how I was worried about you. You _made_ everything to your liking…" Tara paused, another tear escaping. "Including me."

"No!" Willow cried again. "I didn't! I just wanted everything to be okay. Like it used to be."

"This is a relationship Will," Tara said, her voice quiet, remembering that they were not alone. "It consists of two people. It needs to work for both people. It can't just go one way. Just because I'm not happy, doesn't mean you can put a spell on me to fix that. If I'm not happy, then we have to find a way together to work it out."

"Okay," Willow said, a flicker of hope in her voice.

"We _could_ have done that, if you had just waited. We could have tried the next day, and maybe worked it out. We could have done it together, but I wasn't aware. But you missed your chance. "

"We can still do it. We could start now," Willow interrupted.

"No, you missed your chance. I-I just…." Taras voice faded. She couldn't believe what she was about to say. "I don't think this is going to work."

"Of course it'll work. It's working."

"No, Willow, just, stop. You have to understand. It's not working anymore."

"Are you saying you going to leave me?" Willow said, her eyes full of tears.

Tara didn't answer. 

"What if I…..went a month, without doing a single spell."

Tara looked up, searching Willows face. Was she really going to do this? Was a month too much to start with?

"A week," Tara said, to Willows relief. Willow tried not to show it, but she seriously doubted she could make a month. "Go a week and then we'll see."

"A week," Willow said brightly, "that's easy!" 

"I hope you find it easy. Going cold turkey is one of the hardest ways to beat an addiction." Tara said, not looking at Willow.

"I don't have an addiction!" Willow protested.

"You're using magic for everything. Even for the small things that you didn't need to use if for. Like the decorations at Xander and Anyas party. I did say the grocery store was still open-"

"Using something a lot does not make it an addiction. It's just when you're good at it, and when it helps make something easier."

"You're not supposed to use it just because it makes everything easier. And you're not supposed to use it to fix your problems."

Willow couldn't argue with that. She _had_ tried to fix problems with magic.

So, here she was, sitting on her knees, in front of the fireplace, about to cast another spell, to fix another one of her problems. It was so perfect. It was about to fix everything. Why didn't Willow think of it before?

Actually, she had. But, it didn't work out. And that wasn't her fault. That was Dawn. This time, the spell would make everyone forget about her fight with Tara. And, best of all, everyone would forget Buffy was ever in heaven.

Willow went to the cabinet, and pulled out a bag of potpourri. There was a big piece of Lethe's Bramble inside, and that was just what she needed. She placed the Lethe's Bramble in the fireplace, and lit it with a match. 

She said the spell, wording it carefully. It had to cover everyone. Willow couldn't afford anymore slip-ups.

There was a crystal in her pocket. A clear one, which was to turn black when the spell had been cast.

Willow headed out the door, but before she closed it, she remembered the bag of potpourri beside the fireplace. She couldn't leave any evidence of the spell around, it was just too dangerous.

She put it safely away, in it's proper place, then headed for the Magic Box.

She decided to take the more scenic route walking slowly, enjoying the crisp air, and the views around her. She hadn't been _that_ ready when Tara and Dawn left. They knew how long she took to get ready in the morning. She might as well take her time. 

While walking over the small bridge, Willow took the crystal out of her pocket. It was beginning to turn black at the corners. The spell would be cast in no time at all.

She got to the door of the Magic Box, but before going in, she checked the crystal. It was black as coal. No, blacker than that. And it was shimmery and pretty. 

Well, that's magic for you. Always has to be better than the normal way. That's one of the things that attracted Willow to it.


	2. Always read the small print

Disclaimer: see Ch.1

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, although I don't quite get the first one. Anyway, here goes part 2.….(Oh, and I'm sorry if I've miss-spelt some stuff, like kumbiah, but I'm Irish. We don't sing that song) 

Willow pushed the door, hearing the little bell tinkle as she entered. Willow stopped walking, and gawked at the sight before her. Everyone was…..smiling. At her, and at each other.

The spell had definitely worked. No-one had been this happy since, well, actually, they never had been. There was no emptiness in Buffy. Dawn was receiving more attention from her than ever, although Willow didn't notice that.

Xander and Anya weren't absorbing the bad atmosphere that was no longer coming from everyone else and surrounding them.

There was no air-line ticket in Giles's pocket. He had absolutely no intention of leaving (Willow didn't know about that, either, but he seemed happier than usual to her).

And, lastly, Tara. There was no awkward disappointment felt from her. Tara was to nice to give anyone the cold shoulder, or ignore them entirely. 

Instead, Tara walked over to Willow and hugged her. "I forgot to give you your hug this morning." She said, still smiling, taking Willow's hand, and leading her to the table where there group always sat. Only, today, everyone sat there together.

The day was spent talking and laughing. There was no research. There were no 'ogali-bogali's'. No mysterious deaths or sacrifices going on.

Actually, Willow wouldn't have been surprised if everyone burst into song (again) at that very moment. That would be fun. A group sing along. But of course, they'd need a guitar (Giles could take care of that) and a fire would be nice, to toast marshmallows. Willow could do that, if she wanted. But she thought it would be better to do it without magic. 

"I feel so happy, I could start singing any minute," Willow laughed.

"That's not a bad idea at all," Giles stood up, and went to the back room, returning a few seconds later with a guitar.

"What shall we sing?" He asked, getting ready to start playing.

"Kumbiah seems so appropriate right now." Buffy said, unsure of what she was saying. "But we don't have to, you know, if it's a bit too 'praise-the-lord'-y." She said, mostly directing her gaze at Willow and Tara.

"No," Tara spoke up. "It's fine."

"Yeah," Willow said, mesmerized at the fact that she could make this happen without using any spells. But, in a way, she did. It was the spell talking, not everyone else. "Hey," She said, when they were about to start. "I know what to do,"

She cast a spell, sending them all to a desert-y type of place, with the stars twinkling above them, and everyone sitting in a circle around a roaring fire.

When Tara didn't say anything, Willow expected her to be annoyed. Tara turned to her, eyes shining. "It's so beautiful! I didn't know you knew any group transport spells. And I didn't know such a peaceful place existed, either. You have to teach me this one," She smiled, taking Willow's hand, and gave it a little squeeze. "I wish we could stay here forever. And that the stars would always shine this way."

"That because there's no pollution to cover them. We're in the middle of nowhere." Willow put her head on Tara's shoulder.

"Not literally, I hope." Giles laughed.

"Where exactly are we?" Tara asked, looking up at the stars.

"I-I…um…." She paused, sitting upright, worried about what the others would say. "I, uh, don't really-"

"Uh, Giles," Xander interrupted, waving his hand around to get the groups attention. "What would that big ball of fire coming right towards us be?" Xander pointed to the sky. 

The stars in the fireballs path were exploding as it passed. As it came closer, it sounded like an aeroplane was a few feet above them. Everyone clung to each other.

"Willow!" Buffy yelled over the noise. "Get us out of here!"

Willow chanted quickly and quietly, and in the blink of an eye, the group were back in their original seats.

"What _was_ that?!?" Dawn cried, but the words came out slowly, as she was as panicky as everyone else, but was the first to regain her voice.

"I….don't know…" Willow finally managed to say.

Anya stood up. "It was coming right at us Willow. Why the hell would it do that?"

"Really, I don't kn-"

"A comet of some sort," Giles interrupted, not aware of the conversation going on around him. He looked like he was in a trance. "Coming straight at us. Set to kill."

Everyone was silent, some were looking at Willow. Giles continued. "Willow," He said, awakening from his trance. "Whatever you did…Wherever you sent us, we clearly weren't wanted. Where did you say we were?"

"She didn't," Dawn angrily, her gaze kept firmly on Willow. "She didn't get to finish telling us that she didn't know where we were. She didn't have a clue where she sent us. Buffy, she could have killed us!"

Xander, who was sitting next to Willow put his arm around her. "Hey, guys, lay off her. It was an accident. She didn't know what she was doing. She got caught up in the moment. We all did."

"You should have known where you were sending us," Tara spoke for the first time since they came back. She was beside Willow, but had turned to face the other way. "Magic is extra dangerous if you don't know what the consequences are. You put us all in danger." She whispered. "You could have killed us all. You didn't think about what could have happened."

"But, Tara-" Willow tried to defend herself. 

"We'll discuss it later," Was all Tara could say, for she feared she wouldn't be able to hold in her tears if she talked anymore.


	3. Alarms clocks can be good things

Disclaimer: See Ch.1

A/N: Sorry it took so long to post again. I wanted to change it, but I was sick for a while, and then thought of other ways to change it. The ending I have written is totally different from the original (that's how much I thought it over). Also, I have had to make it into four parts, because I want each one to be roughly the same size. So, the end here isn't '_the end_''. 

Everyone went home, scared and angry. When they got to the house, Tara went straight upstairs. She was just getting into bed, when Willow came in.

The situation was all too familiar. Willow tried to defend herself again. "Can we not do this now?" Tara said, folding back the covers. "I'm tired." 

Willow was scared. This is how it happened last time. She was about to take the Lethe's Bramble out of the bowl on the dressing table, but then was against it. This was the wrong path.

"But we _have_ to do this now," Willow cried, turning to face Tara. "It can't be like last time,"

"Last time?" Tara sat up in bed. "When did this ever happen?"

"Just forget I ever said anything," Willow mumbled hastily. 

"No." Tara got out of bed, and stood before Willow. "When did this ever happen?" she asked again. There was no way out. Even if Willow got the chance to use the Lethe's Bramble spell, someone would remind Tara of the fight anyway. And, the other spell was too big and too complicated to do again.

"On Halloween. When we were looking for Dawn. And afterwards, when you went to bed."

"But, I don't remember-" Tara stopped. A horrible thought filled her head. "No, no you wouldn't…Tell me you didn't!" She cried.

"I can't," 

The conversation that followed was much like the one they had the day before, Tara telling Willow how they need to work through problems together, and about the dangers of putting spells on people, and about how some consequences aren't realised until they've already happened.

Tara sat on the bed. "I can't believe it. Why would you put a spell on me? You have to end it. I can't be under this spell. My judgement is clouded. It's dangerous…." Tears formed in Tara's eyes. 

"But-" Willow stammered.

"You _can_ end the spell, can't you?" Tara looked up, a tear trailing slowly down her cheek.

"Yes, but-" 

"No, no buts. You have to end it now,"

Willow took the black crystal out of her pocket. It looked so pretty, but it made such bad things happen. "I think the spell will end it is this is destroyed," She said, putting the crystal into Tara's hands. "Everyone will be back to normal, and they'll all know what I did."

"You put a spell on _everyone_?"

Willow nodded, a tear trickling down her cheek. "So they would forget Buffy was in heaven." She whispered. "So they wouldn't know how badly I messed up." At this point, Willow broke down. She had messed up even more by casting that spell.

Maybe Tara should wait until tomorrow, when everyone was together, before the spell was ended. But then, Tara decided that she couldn't wait until tomorrow to know exactly what happened.

"Here," She said, handing Willow the crystal. "You started the spell. You can end it."

Willow put it on the ground, and stamped on it. Black energy floated out of it, into Tara, and the others in the group. The crystal was black because it was full of bad memories and thoughts. The shards of glass on the carpet returned to their original transparentness. 

Tara stood up, memories flooding back. Tears were streaming down her face. "You couldn't even go a day," She whispered. She ran out of the room, down the stairs, and flung open the back door. Willow ran after her.

"I-I can't breathe," Tara cried, trying to inhale the air, but only getting a bit into her lungs.

Buffy and Dawn appeared in the garden just as Tara fell backwards. Buffy rushed up, and caught her, then laid her down on the grass. "I can't breathe," She whispered, as Buffy propped Tara's head on her knees.

"You see what you've done?" Dawn shouted, but she was crying. "Do you see what you're doing? Something's wrong, because of what you did!"

"Dawn!" Buffy shouted. "_Not_ now!"

Willow stood motionless. She didn't know what to do. Call an ambulance?

A car was heard from a little way away. It stopped outside the house. Giles got out, and could see them in the back garden. 

He ran to them. "I'm sorry-" Willow began saying.

"I'll talk to you later." Giles sounded sharp. "Tara?" His voice softened. "What happened?"

"She can't breathe," Buffy said, standing up to let Giles kneel beside Tara.

Giles took a quick look at her. "She's overwhelmed by the memories. She's having some sort of panic attack. We need to calm her down." He spoke sternly, knowing something had to be done quickly.

"I-I know a spell that could calm…" Willow mumbled, walking towards where Tara lay.

"Well?" Giles asked, impatiently, looking up at her. "We need to know now, or Tara will die."

"No, I shouldn't…" 

"Just do it this once." When Willow didn't move, Giles got angry. "Come on! We don't bloody well have all day!"

Willow crouched beside Giles. "Icasmis!" She muttered softly.

Tara's gasping became panting, as she pushed herself up. She stared at Willow, who stood up and walked a few paces backwards.

"Are you alright?" Giles asked. But his question wasn't heard. Tears were still streaming. "Tara," Giles said gently. "You must try to stay calm. We can't have that happening again."

"I-I'm o-okay," Tara said, pulling herself to her feet.

She walked right past Willow, who ran after her. "I'm sorry, Tara-"

"Come inside and then we'll talk." Tara didn't even turn her head.

The conversation resumed in the living room.

"Tara-"

"Save it," Tara sat down on the sofa. "We already went over this. How could you do all this? Not just to me, but to your friends."

Xander and Anya burst in the door then. "Willow, how could you?" Xander shouted. "I believed in you. I defended you. I did what any good friend would have done. And look, you did what no friend would do. You lied to us all."

Giles emerged from the kitchen, with Buffy and Dawn in tow. "You put us all in danger. Anything could have happened. Every spell has a consequence, a price to pay, some bigger than others-"

Willow tried to speak, but kept getting cut off by people. She wished she could just go away. Spend an eternity somewhere else. Everything got too much, and soon it all became a whirl of colours. Then, there was only darkness.

Suddenly, everywhere was glowing white. Willow's eyes regained focus, and she found herself in a hospital bed. Buffy was sitting beside her.

"Buffy," Willow whispered. Her throat was sore.

"The doctor said you'd wake up today," Buffy said, a slight smile on her face.

"Wake up? How long was I sleeping?"

"Well, you've been in a coma for almost a year."

"A year? What happened?"

"You collapsed. When you didn't wake up, we brought you to the hospital. You put some sort of spell on yourself, and went into a coma."

Willow suddenly remembered how she had been wishing she could disappear. Go somewhere else, where the others couldn't find her. Her will must have cast a spell. "Where's Tara?" Willow said, her voice returning to normal.

"Ah," Buffy said, a sad look spreading across her face. "Here's the hard part. You remember that place you brought us to?"

Willow shook her head.

"A comet almost killed us." Buffy said wryly. "It was the day you went into the coma. Well, that place belonged to some god, Sorigas. He was angry. Said we trespassed. He came to us, Xander and I, while we were visiting you. He said we had a price to pay."

Buffy stopped talking for a moment. The memory was still fresh in her mind, and she was sitting in the room where it all happened.

"He said he'd take something from each of us. So, he did. He took the person who was most important in are lives. And it couldn't have been any of us, because we had to live knowing it was our fault. So he took Dawn, Anya and…"

"Tara?" Willow cried. "He killed Tara?" Tears spilled onto her covers.

"He said we should learn that everything has it's price, and that we should be able to pay it before we…"

But Willow couldn't hear her. Tara was gone, and it was all her fault. Her actions caused three people to die. She should have just gone a week without any spells. None of this would have happened, and Tara would have taken her back.

Willow sobbed loudly. "I'm s-sorry," She stammered. 

"Xander didn't want to be here, to see you waking up. He said he can't face you yet. Giles is in England. Has been for a while."

"You should be mad at me too," 

"They're not mad. Just…."

"I killed them all. No-one should be talking to me. I should be alone."

Buffy took this to mean that Willow wanted to be alone. "Bye, Will." She said, getting up from her chair. "See you tomorrow."

So Willow was left alone in her hospital room, sobbing to herself, rocking back and forth. It felt like she had only been asleep a few seconds, but she had been gone for months. And everything had changed. Xander wouldn't visit and Buffy wasn't the same towards her, and Giles was in England. Things were never good when he was gone. And then, there was the obvious one. Three people dead. 

It was then that Willow decided it would be best if she gave up magic. She felt like she had lost everything, just because of one spell. And, she had to learn the hard way that everything has consequences, even though Tara and Giles had been telling her all along.

A/N: Don't worry! There's another chapter coming, and it'll all be okay by the end of it! I decided I couldn't be that cruel. That wouldn't be good, especially so close to Christmas.


	4. It's weird when that's the answer

Disclaimer: See Ch. 1

A/N: I'm posting this on Christmas Eve (well, GMT it's about 9pm on Christmas Eve right now) so it should be up on time for Christmas day (GMT and other time zones after it). 

When Willow was well, she went back to live with Buffy. She did so reluctantly, but Buffy genuinely wanted her to stay. Things wouldn't be the same, but maybe they could start working to make things even slightly normal.

Willow voiced her decision about magic to Buffy one evening. "I'll help, you. Only if you want." Buffy said quickly, even though she didn't know how she could help. Things still felt very awkward. Buffy wanted to be angry at Willow, but her anger died away while Willow was in hospital. There was nothing she could do while Willow was in a coma. Besides, Spike let her take all her anger and tears out on him. "It's probably gonna be good for you anyway. After…" She had to be nice to Willow, especially now, since she had just found out about Tara's death with happened almost a year ago.

"Yeah," 

Willow headed up to her bedroom silently. She hated being there, but couldn't avoid it. It would be best to start taking things out of there. Magic things.

There was a whole shelf filled with spell books. One of them containing spells of mind control. The dangerous one. Willow remembered the last time she had been in the room before going into a coma. She was with Tara. And Tara wasn't happy. 

She remembered about saying something about reversing time a few days before that. 'Want me to reverse time and take it back, 'cause I could probably-'. But that was where her theory ended. 

Maybe it would have worked. Maybe……

There was a book containing spells on time reversal on the shelf. Willow quickly searched, and on finding it, pulled it from the shelf. She found the right page and began reading the spell. Willow stopped herself. 

Consequences. Fine print. Side effects. Each had to be taken into account. Luckily, at the bottom of the page was written (in fine print); _Please contact Phoria for details on spell._

That had to work. Willow had heard of this goddess before. She knew of every spell in the universe, but she was hard to track down, and didn't always give information when asked for it. She disliked _some_ spells. 

Willow chanted the summoning spell underneath the warning. A blue light appeared at the ceiling. A voice came from it.

"Yes? Did you call me?"

"Ummm…yes." Willow hesitated. "I need some information on a spell."

"People never ask me for that," Phoria muttered sarcastically. "C'mon, which spell? I don't have much time."

"A time reversing spell. Please."

"Well, I know it. But, it depends what reason it's for. I had some nut trying to get rid of transportation and electricity last week. Wanted to live like it was the stone age. And don't lie, because I'll be watching you." She said sternly.

So Willow told her story. 

"That doesn't sound too good. Are you sure you want to do this this spell? Because you'll always remember that you fixed everything with magic, and you'd always remember how much you hurt everyone."

Willow never thought of that. "Isn't there something that will keep me from remembering?"

"But what if you end up doing it all again without realising, and you get stuck in a viscous circle?"

Willow really hadn't thought this out properly at all. 

"Although," Phoria added "we could do something to make you forget, and fill your head with sense. About fixing things with magic, I mean. So then you'd realise what your friends did, about magic being dangerous if you use too much."

"We could do that?" Willow's eyes shone as she craned her neck to look at the essence of the goddess. 

"Yes. We'd be mixing a few spells together, but I know how to do it properly, with no bad consequences."

Willow hung her head in shame. "Don't be glum. We'll soon have this fixed. You'll be back with the people you love. Now, where would you like to go back to?"

Willow's head filled with a list of things she'd like to change. She didn't want Buffy to know she was in heaven. But Giles would still be angry with her for doing the spell to bring her back. She didn't want to have fought with Tara about magic. The big spell would have to go. But, then, Buffy would still be dead. What if Willow found the spell and showed it to Giles? No, that wouldn't work. He would be against it, and Buffy would still have been in heaven. 

It took a lot of thinking, but Willow finally figured it out. She would have to go back to when Glory wanted the key. There was a spell she found the summer after Buffy's death. It would have closed the portal. Maybe, if she left it for herself to find, things would start fixing themselves. She wouldn't have to bring Buffy back, which wouldn't prompt her magic 'addiction'. But besides, she was going to be 'filled with sense', so she'd be okay. Buffy wouldn't be unhappy, Tara wouldn't leave her, and everything would fall into place. No-one was going to die as a result of this spell too, which was a huge plus. 

After more planning, which took up a lot of Phoria's time, the spell could be cast. Phoria had promised Willow that if anything were to go wrong, she would reverse the spell. 

Willow opened her eyes. She was sitting at the table of the Magic Box. She read the page that was in front of her. "Giles!" She called. "Giles! I've found a spell to close the portal!" 

Giles came running up to her. "You're right!" He cried happily. 

So, that is where everything started again for Willow. And everything turned out okay, just how Willow thought it should be.

The End……for now at least. Muhahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

(This is meant to be my super-eeville laugh. 

Not just plain-evil/eeville. SUPER-EEVILLE!) 

A/N: I hoped you liked it! Okay, it was kind of weird, and I wrote it in a few minutes, but I checked over it many times. Hopefully, you weren't too puzzled by it. Happy Christmas (or whatever you may be celebrating)! J 


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